Posted 5:13 AM by Paul
Halloween 2004

My objections to Halloween were nothing to do with it promoting Satan worship. They were related to it promoting American cultural imperialism. I put the popularity of Halloween down to the popularity of Happy Days in the late 70s. Before that, this time of year saw British kids hanging out on street corners begging money with the cry "Spare a Penny for the Guy Sir? ".

For any Americans who do not know, this quaint custom was tied to Guy Fawkes (or Bonfire)Night on November 5th. This is the the anniversary of when Guy, a dissident Catholic tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament in 1605. He was burnt at the stake and as children we marked the event by throwing his effigy on to bonfires and letting off or sometimes throwing fireworks. My elder brother Dave and I used to make a tidy sum every Autumn begging in this way. We spent most of the money on fireworks and fish and chips.

In those simpler times guying was nothing unusual. It was not seen as a sign of poor parenting to let your kids out into the night to beg money from strangers. In the 1960s there were a couple of kids with a Guy Faulkes on most street corners, particularly outside pubs in working class areas. November 5th was nearly an important as Chistmas for me. I was desperately sad when David was in hospital on November 5th due to a viral infection in his brain. It was just not the same without my big brother. But he got better and we had a couple of good bonfire nights in later years. Mum always used to make a special cake called Parkin and baked potatoes with sausages.

So, when Halloween won the battle fo the hearts and minds of Britain's youth, I was a little resentful. Bloody Yanks. They get everywhere. Is nothing sacred? But I got over that nonesense when Heather:

- Reminded me that is is FUN
- Beat me lightly with her Minny Mouse ears

She was right. The kids have just finished carving the pumpkin and laying out their scary clothes for trick or treating tonight. Emily is dressing as a black cat and Alice as a witch.

In keeping with the season Osama Bin Ladebn has just released a new video, warning of further attacks on the USA and, for the first time, claiming direct responsibility for the attacks of September 11th. Osama. We guessed it was you all along. So that was the October Surprise. Not a revelation about Kerry's war record or Bush's drinking and womanising, but a video from a would be theocratic dictator. It was probably designed to tip the election in Bush's favour.

No one knows what effect it will have. 20% had voted before it was released and most people have already made up their minds. On the one hand, it reminds voters that the boogey man is still at large despite Bush's proud boasts about having him on the run. On the other hand it stresses the mortal danger the home land is in at the hands of Dr.Evil. I would like to think that the former would be true.

However I can't help thinking that a decisive sliver of the electorate will get into the voting booth with every intention of voting Kerry but at the last minute stay with the devil they know at a time of war. A war created by that devil for the expressed intention of holding on to the power that slipped from his father's grasp.

Happy Haloween