Posted 2:42 PM by Paul
UK Government Joins USA in Political Lunatic Asylum

Now just to prove that madness is spreading the UK Government has decided to issue an ultimatum to Baghdad which goes something like this:

Dear Saddam

We will get really mad and invade if:

- You don't admit you have been a very naughty boy and agree to come up to Head Master Blair's study for a good ticking off.
- You don't go on TV and admit IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL that you have not done as you are told
- Write out 1,000 times "I must not only partially obey UN resolutions" - unlike my school mates in the China, Isreal, N.Korea and India who basically don't give a toss about the school rules.

The UK Government are even referring to this bizarre methodology as "bench marking"! It's like a bad training course for a vacuum cleaner sales force. What are they going to do if Saddam agrees? Split up into break out sessions after coffeee and compare notes on PowerPoint. Lord preserve us.

Earlier today I was getting smug - indulging in what an old friend (born NYC, Grew up Cal. Fought Iwo, Lived in Paris, Died in Ireland) called "the conceit of the English". Now I am cured. Today's events have conclusively proved that when it comes to bullshit we are still world champs.

P. S Dear Tony We really don't matter. We are there to clean up after the parade. Stop pretending we are major league. It is really embarassing.