Posted 11:18 AM by Paul
Blair Hits New Levels of Sadness

Many people have commented on the insensitivity of Tony Blair going ahead with his family holiday in the Caribbean idyl of Barbados whilst British troops and UN workers are being blown-up in Iraq. Many people feel uncomfortable about the Blairs sunning themselves whilst the Hutton inquiry rolls on, revealing startling evidence about the background to the tragic suicide of Dr. Kelly, the Government's pre-eminent chemical weapons expert. I don't hold that view. Everybody deserves a holiday with the kids, even if they are the most reviled British PM since the last one. But weirder news has emerged from the Caribbean.

It seems that the Blairs are staying at the mansion of Cliff Richard, that most sad and kitsch pop icon from the 60s and 70s. OK - he has had hits in the modern era but one of them involved him intoning a version of the Lords Prayer to a slow electro beat. And to think - Blair seemed so young, so fresh. It's as if you found out that Clinton had secretly been hanging out with Pat Boone and that JFK had preferred the company of Liberace to Tony Bennet.

This is the end of Cool Brittania. The New Labour Government and its ageing leader are officially SAD Labour.

Posted 10:51 AM by Paul

Posted 11:22 AM by Paul
Black Out in the One Super Power


Yesterday we went to Niagra - my first visit since the summer of 1971 when I seemed to be the only teenager in Ontario with long hair.

It is impossible for me to convey the mixture of awe, terror and exhileration that I felt looking watching the millions of gallons of water racing over the lip of the falls. It had made the same impression 32 years earlier. After lunch we went on the trip below the falls and watched mesmorised as the torrent poured from above. But the most beautiful moment was when looked up from the bow of the Maid of the Mist to see the Horseshoe Falls above us filling our field of vision - the fading light refracting through the cascade in shades of purple and aquamarine. I held on to the kids feeling fear and wonder.

We managed to take the last ride of the day on the Mist of the Mist because they were closing down early. We heard that a major power failure in the surrounding area had stranded some people in elevators. Sensibly the Niagra Park authorities did not want to take the risk and we had to walk down the slip road to take the boat rather than take the elevator. Very sensible as it turned out as it transpired that at 4.03 p.m. a massive power failure had cut the power to over 50 million Americans and Canadians. A mixture of under investment, deregulation and mismanagement had plunged the Eastern Seaboard and Southern Ontario into darkness. In New York thousands were stranded on the subway. They must have thought at first that this was all a postscript to 9-11. Another terrorist attack.

Niagra was lit up like Christmas when we left at 9 p.m. and it was only as we drove towards St. Catherines that we noticed whole areas in compelte darkness. On the radio we heard George Bush say that the whole black out was possibly caused by a lightening strike in Upstate New York near Niagra. This is a fascinating theory given that it was a hot almost cloudless day with no rain. Maybe someone should tip off Bush's spin doctors that when you are looking for an excuse to cover up some major political failure you shouldn't choose one that 50,000 tourists can rubbish by calling their local radio station or logging on to their blog site.

Our power in Waterloo Southern Ontario came back around 3.00 a.m. Over breakfast we were amused to learn that Major Bloomberg of New York was blaming it all on the Canadians. Apparently they were using too much power and had crashed the system. Clearly, Americans do not use air conditioning and by divine right have prior claim to the billions of mega watts generated in Canada. But New Yorkers are not stupid. They will see through this as an attempt to explain away chaos from a man whose response to the economic down turn after 9-11 and the decay of public sevices was to ban smoking in public places. Tokenism is the word that springs to mind.

Posted 6:50 PM by Paul
Eating Pancakes Opposite the Centre of the Toy Universe

An early night and the effects of jetlag meant that Alice and Emily woke up around 5.00 a.m. I grunted a bit and told the kids to be quiet because other guests were sleeping in the next room - a pathetic rationalisation for the fact that I was tired, grumpy and middle aged.

The kids stopped making so much noise when they started eating breakfast. I had bought a few things the night before from a convenience store next to Grand Central Station - guessing that the mini bar would be astronomically expensive. As it turend out I guessed right. Concerned parents and health food freaks should look away now. Emily feasted on a whole bag of Cheetos whilst Alice snacked on a family bag of mini Txix bars. Heather held the fort whilst I took a long bath - a process which was complicated by the Astoria's antiquated plumbing and confusing signage. Point the lever to HOT and you get VERY COLD. Point it to OFF and you get VERY HOT. The kids watched cartoons [ how did our parents pacify us before the advent of 24 hour TV?] and the adults dozed. An hour of bliss before battle commenced.

By 7.30 a.m we felt ready for New York - and forgoing the $30 [ $45 if you took the champagne option ] continental breakfast at the Astoria we headed for Times Square. The city was waking up and the air was already hot and humid. Steam rising out of the subway vents in the sidewalks. The Chrysler Building loomed out of the mist.

Walking past the Rockerfeller Centre we saw the filming of what I later found our was the Today Show. The classic talk show set of two sofas was laid out on a sound stage under a canopy in the centre small plaza which during the winter is home to the skating rink. A crowd positioned behind crash barriers whooped and hollered as a black female presenter sashayed on to the set waving to her fans under the blazing light of studio arc lamps. She looked a little bit like Oprah but I still have no idea who she was. In the USA she is probably known to millions and earns millions. In full studio make up and immaculate clothes it occurred to me that she had probably got out of bed around the same time as us, and was now about to start her working day. We, on the other hand were headed for a full American breakfast and a visit to the flagship Toys R Us store in Times Square.

Alice spotted Howard Johnson's first and although it was more expensive and probably not as good as other neighbouring delis, we just not resist a visit. The owners of the chain, which people tell me is on the brink of closing down, had clearly made a decision not to change anything since 1959. The same vinyl covered banquettes and formica tables. The same beautiful 1950s signs which would fetch a fortune in a London emporium specialising in classic Americana. The whole late-Eisenhower era ambience was helped along by the background music which was a mixture of Chicago blues and Louis Jordan swing. Everthing was supersized from my smoked salmon bagel through to Heather and the kids' pancakes and syrup and down to the urinals in the men's toilets [ English English for restrooms ].

Across Times Square the CNN ticker tape was reporting on more American casualties from Baghdad. Our family was celebrating but somewhere in the heartland another family was in mourning. A comentator on the big screen was explaining that the attacks were carried out by a minority and that once Saddam Hussein had been captured the attacks would stop. He assured his audience that Most Iraqis support the co-alition.

In many ways the USA is the most sophisticated country on Earth. But their child-like political naiveity leaves me speechless. Since the dawn of recorded history occupation armies have been hated. This is the case even when they depose an unpopular and unsuccesful dictator. The honeymoon lasts a matter of weeks. After the Second World War Churchill and Truman had the good sense to install an interim German regime under Conrad Adenheuer a few months after the fall of Hitler. The planning for the change over from occupation to German control started whilst allied troops were hitting the beaches of Normandy. Even across the Iron Curtain in the totalitarian East, the Communists knew that they had to install demonstrably German and Polish governments to carry out Moscow's orders and starting planning for it just after the fall of Stalingrad in the spring of 1943. People generally want rulers who look like them, eatr the same food and worship the same God.

Now we hear that, far from establishing an interim Iraqi adminstration, the US/UK alliance have put together a relief force headed by the Poles and involving the Spanish to take over security in Central Iraq. Now I may be wrong about this, but I have a dreadful feeling that an exclusively white, Christian occupying force will not be a big hit with Shia or Sunni Moslems. It may be only a matter of time before the silent drawing down of blinds commences in Salamanca and Gdansk.

But enough of world affairs, something over which I have no control. Across Time Square Toys R Us was opening its doors and the kids were getting restless. Its proud bost is " Toys R Us Times Square - the Centre of the Toy Universe!" It didn't let us down. From the 60 foot Ferris wheel which fills an atrium with views of every floor, to the full size Barbie House - Toys R Us represents the gold standard of toys. Kiddy heaven. But there was also plenty for adult customers as the Toys R Us marketeers tapped into their secondary market - adults buying for themselves. Video monitors were set into the wall by the escalators playing 1950s and 60s adverts for toys or clips from vintage kids TV series. Nearly all the old toys for boys had a militaristic flavour. But when I was a child no one would have thought twice about buying a boy a toy gun for Christmas. Many of the toys on offer were re-issues of classics such as My Little Pony, Lego, Action Man and GI Joe. They also have every conceivable Barbie including several with an eye to the adult gay market. I can't believe that Arctic Princess Barbie in her special display case was anything else but an example of high camp. You could also feel the designers winking at you ironically.

The good news for parents visiting from the UK is that all the toys, including the ones that are made in the USA and not China, are around 30-50% cheaper than back home. So if you in New York go to Toys R Us, even if you do not have kids.

But time slipped by in Toy Heaven and just beofre midday we had to walk up town to the Oak Room at the Plaza Hotel next to Central Park where we were meeting Steve and Joanne and Neil and Lorraine. The kids did not seemed too impressed by a visit to one of NYCs classic cocktail lounges but Heather and I were looking forward to long drinks and fierce air conditioning.

Posted 3:09 PM by Paul
New York in August - Bring a Sweater

So we arrived in New York. Immigration were pleasant and efficient and I was almost dissapointed that I received no interrogation other than "How long are you staying?". No comment other than "Enjoy your stay." Clearly, I am not on anyone's list. Damn it! I used to be so subversive.

The taxi driver had a sticker "Proud to be a Sikh American" on his windscreen. Code I suppose for " I am not a Moslem you dumb head. So please don't beat me up." The airport road and the approach from JFK must be one of the least inspiring introductions to any major city. Run down clapper board houses, cracked concrete slabs and weeds growing everywhere. I suppose New Yorkers don't think they need to impress. After all, this is the the Capital of the World. But if you had never been there before, and did not fully appreciate the wonders the city has to offer it would be a bit of a shock. So, this is America? Perhaps the Europeans have grown richer and more sophisticated. Our expectations are higher. The bar has been raised. When I first visted Barcelona in 1980 it was dirty, the bars were dingy and sold grim looking sanwiches and vinegary wine. The approach from the airport felt like Mexico. Now the place gleams, the food is world class and the airport road is planted with flowers and palms. Maybe New York should apply to join the EU.

However, once you emerge fromn the Brooklyn Tunnel and into Manahattan the heart stopping vistas including the Chrysler and the Empire State raise the spirits. For an impressionable 47 Year old English man it has lost none of its ability to inspire and impress. You feel like you are in the film set of your youth. The fact that it was unbearably hot and muggy only added to the thrill. Close your eyes and the Ramones are playing at CBGB's, the NYPD are hunting the Son of Sam, Jimmy Carter is President. Heather and I love New York. It is the ultimate urban enviroment. The apotheosis of urban life. Mega City 1.

Beyond the fire engines carrying the Stars and Stripes there was no noticebale orgy of patriotism from a city that has suffered so much. We walked past a fire station which still carried the images of two men on its walls who had been lost in the September 11th Their comrades were still waiting for them to come home. Gone but not fogotten. You could not fail to be touched by such signs of affection. But beyond that, anyone looking for signs of a city still crippled by grief or thirsting for revenge might have to look elsehwhere. I may have this wrong, but all the ugly ultra patriotism seems to be the preserve of those who did not suffer. It as if the vicitims have been used in a larger cynical game by the Bush Adminstration. If they really cared, they would be investing in New York and not shutting fire stations for lack of funds. I noticed that the families of victims were mounting a demonstration at the site of the Twin Towers in protest at the developers plans to water down the scale of the memorial planned by the architect Daniel Leiberskind. For better or worse life goes on.

We stayed at the Waldorf, whose public rooms are straight out of a Fred Astaire movie but whose private rooms were showing signs of wear and tear. It took them almost an hour and two reminder phone calls to send our luggage up to our room. The Grand Dame is showing signs of age. This is probably why we managed to get the room on an internet deal which was comparable to a Holiday Inn in London. Jet lagged and hungry we decided to eat at Oscar's "American Brasserie" which is part of the Waldorf. The food was great and Heather's hamburger was as it should be. Huge, tasty and cooked to perfection - medium rare. Alice's kids meal hamburger was the same quality and exactly the same size. I had ordered the Black Cod with Zuchinni in anticipation of being able to finish off some o the kids food and I made the right call. Emily was dosing off at the table so H took her upstairs whilst Alice finished her gargantuun ice cream and I paid the very reasonble bill - an inferior ersatz American Diner in London would have cost 30% more. Alice started to look ill. She was shivering.

"Are you OK sweetheart?", I inquired.

"Yes daddy, it's just that I am shivering cold."

New York weather. New York air conditioning. We went outisde for a few moments to warm up and then to bed. Next day we packed little jackets for the kids just in case they got cold over lunch.