Posted 10:41 AM by Paul
Retrospective Drug Tests Now!

Today the PM announced that he was actively considering giving headteachers the right to test pupils for drugs. The statement was made via the main organ of British democracy. No, not Parliament you idiot. The News of the World, a Murdoch owned Sunday tabloid usually dominated by articles about glamour models' breasts and the infidelities of Premiership footballers. The House of Commons and the Parliamentary Labour Party were not really in the loop on this one. They aren't on most things these days.

So - fair enough. Having students high on crack during double Maths in not in the best interest of anyone. Drug pushing in school is a real problem in some schools, and not just in the Inner City but alos in the suburbs and countryside.

All of this got me thinking about the historical context of the drug debate. Could we please go back in time and drug test the Cabinet? Now that these ex-radicals have rebranded themselves as political management consultants they claim never to have dabbled in the wacky backy or the Oakey Cokey. With the exception of Blair I just don't believe them. For us to sincerely belive that a group of 30 or so people attended university in the mid 70s without at least smoking a few dodgy spliffs is palpably absurd. The thow Minsters who did admit to some mild drug taking Clare Short and Mo Mowlam are long gone.

The new moralists conveniently forget their past indiscretions. They are the most dangerous animals in the modern political jungle. Desperate to compensate for a youth spent spouting inane Trotsyist theories they moved swiftly on to spouting inane right wing theories. Inevitably, the whole drug testing in schools programme orginated in the USA, Texas to be precise and dutifully star struck members of the Canibet sieze on it gleefully because if they do it in the States it must be a good idea. Problem is, the rules are so tightly written that a girl was recently expelled in Texas just before graduation because she had mild pain killers in her bag.

The prime mover behind many of the authoritarian policies being implemented in the UK, which often start life in the far right reaches of American think tanks is Home Secretary David Blunkett. This is interesting because during the 80s he was the left wing leader of Sheffield City Council, my home town. He did many great things and a few embarrassing ones. He brought in cheap bus fares and free travel for the elderly which cut car usage and pollution as well as giving the freedom of the city to many of the poorest members of society. It was this kind of common sense socialism that won him many admirers and an increasing share of the vote. We thought he was great. We were proud he was one of us. He was also blind and needed a guide dog to get about the place. I first voted in a General Election in 1974 and it was for a young David Blunkett that I cast my vote. He didn't get into parliament because he stood for Labour in the one Conservative constituency in Sheffield.

He also did some silly things, like refusing to allow the Armed Forces to take part in the annual Sheffield Show because "they promote militarism". I don't think he would have brought that one up with George Bush when they met at Buckingham Palace last year.

But there is also a more serious point about drug taking and the march of the new puritans. Any fool could tell you that we have to try to stop kids getting high on crack and ruining their lives. But we also have to give them a way back if they make a mistake. Because the difference between a ruinous criminal record and a glittering career is not always restraint, wisdom and a well timed urine test but dumb luck and birth. If your dad is a politican the authorities are likely to be lenient. If he is unemployed you are likely to get expels. One kid gets caught. Another gets way with it. The latter straightens out out and becomes the CEO of a major charity. The former slips into the abyss and committs suicide aged 24.

Like millions of people out there, I don't need a lecture from the Government about drugs. I have seen the damage up close. One old mate died of an overdose when he was 23. A really lovely bloke who had a lot to offer. Another weakened his heart to such an extent that he died of a heart attack aged 41. It was not directly related, but the drugs could not have helped. We still miss both of them. It would have been so much fun to still have them around. Others still alive have grown tired and cynical before their time and lost their sense of humour. Most of this was not done in backstreets but in the limelight. It is was, and is as much about West End members clubs as it is about East End council states.

So what am I saying to the new puritans who run the UK?

Don't judge young people by where we old fogeys are today. Give them a break. And if they slip give the Zero Tolerance rhetoric a rest. Provide young drug offenders a way back to sanity, a decent meal another chance and a future. You are probably sitting next to someone in Westmister who does the odd line to keep up with the demands of the political life.

That's a thought. It might even be fun to bring in randon drug testing for sitting MPs. After all it's a responsible job and if you are not paying attention you might accidently declare war on a country that posed no threat to anyone.