Posted 3:59 PM by Paul
Family Life

Mum died a year ago today and just like this time last year the weather has been perfect. At some point I intend to extend the short eligy I wrote for her to include bits that could not have been read out in church.

On the one hand it seems like mum died last week and on the other it seems like she belongs to a distant age. Her memory a beautiful myth. I had thought of doing something to commemorate her death but it just didn't seem right. Instead I decided to have a family day in and take the kids for a picnic in the local park, which in many ways would have been a fitting commemoration of her life because she was always put family first.

I say, "would have been" because we had to abandon the picnic after a few minutes because Emily was stung by a wasp. She was very brave about it and it wasn't too serious as we were only a few minutes from home. Heather applied the anti sting cream and Ems was fine. We then decided to go for a swim but could not get in the pool as they has already reached capacity due to the hot weather and the fact that one of the life guards had not turned up. This often happens when there is a heatwave. Insurance contracts limit them to a ratio of 30 swimmers per life guard so I explained to Emily that we would go another day and I would buy her a comic to make up for missing swimming. "Good idea!" she exclaimed. It's the kind of thing my dad used to do when things went wrong, buy some chocolate or a comic and the world was instantly put to rights. The comic included a free sparkly skipping rope so she was very happy.

Emily and Alice are in bed and I am sat hear reflecting on parenthood and thinking of my mum and dad, content in the knowledge that, for me at least, there is nothing better than family life.

At the other side of Europe in Southern Russia people like me and Heather are burying their children in the aftermath of the attack on the school in North Ossetia. Others are wandering the streets disconsolately holding up pictures of their kids holding out the faint hope that they are in a hospital somewhere and not in the smoldering ruins of the school's gymnasium. That is what we would all do, cling to every last fragment of hope in a world that seems to be returning to the middle ages.

The attackers clearly had no intention of releasing the children and started killing adults almost as soon as they had taken control of the school. They had no real demands. They were seeking Armageddon. They even intentionally prevented the children from drinking or eating to add to the hell. De-hydrated, unconscious children are more difficult to rescue and easier to slaughter.
The people behind the attacks want to start an inter-communal war and provoke reprisals on Moslem communities in Chechnya and beyond. There is clear method in their horrific actions.
It is a tactic straight out of the 13th Century. Some Moslems might say straight out of the Crusades.

It seems strangely naive now to remember how hopeful we all were when the Berlin Wall came down. It felt like the dawn of a new age, free from the fear of nuclear war that had formed the backdrop to our lives and rid of the awful political system that had tortured millions.

Since the Wall came down, over 100,00 people have died in former Yugoslavia, Chechnya and the Caucusus. Perhaps the end of cruel totalitarian communism was not entirely a good thing after all. No one knows where all this will lead. A new Stalinism probably. Geo-politics aside you just wonder what kind of world your kids will grow up into - if indeed they are allowed to grow up at all.

Next week the kids move to another after- school club (the one at their school is over-crowded and bullying is rife) which is a 10 minute walk from their school gates. Alice will walk there with Emily three days a week through fairly quiet streets over one pedestrian crossings. I was doinf for more dangerous trips when I was 6. But still I worry. The kids see it as a great adventure, but both me and Heather are already having anxiety dreams.

So tonight, I will go up to check them one last time and think about my mother and fatter - thankful that all their sons and daughters survived them and that they died in bed.