Posted 6:04 PM by Paul
Home and Away

It was great weekend. On Saturday Heather and I got away for three precious hours and had a drink by the Thames. It was one of those beautiful spring evenings in London. Winter a distant memory but a still a chill in the air at dusk. Sitting by the river across for St. Pauls with the tide coming in we could smell the sea as we talked about the London of Pepys and Handel and the millions of had looked at this same scene. We got home around 9 o’clock and the kids were disappointed that we were back so early. They had enjoyed the time away from us and had a great time with the babysitter Kimberley. We had better got used to it. The kids not necessarily being pleased to see us that is. Alice and Emily fell asleep together reading a book. We finished the evening off with a most traditional of British meals, an Indian take-away and a bottle of French wine.

Sunday we went on a picnic with Heather’s family. Mary is over from Canada working at the London School of Economics and is staying in a beautiful flat in Bloomsbury overlooking Tavistock Square. So, instead of heading for the countryside when the sun came out we headed on the 171 bus to Holborn. There was a lot of good natured joshing between the four Hardy kids (there are 5 but John could not make it) about past indiscretions, useless girlfriends/ boyfriends and teenage angst. This kind of banter always leave me feeling a little uneasy as I hope that people will forget what an idiot I have been over the years and never mention it ever again.

Tavistock Square is dedicated to Peace. It features a statue of Ghandi and a monument to conscientious objectors from across the globe. When the Falklands War broke out in 1982 I was teaching English in Spain. Rumours spread amongst ex-pats that Thatcher was about to bring back conscription. I vowed to stay in Spain and not return. This was an immense cop out. If I had been really committed I would have returned home, refused to serve and gone to prison. But spending another year or two trying to sleep with Spanish girls and whiling away the week ends at village fiestas was more appealing than Wormwood Scrubs. The war was over before Spring term finished so heroics were not needed. Lest we forget on that occasion we only attacked when we were invaded. A subtle distinction lost on the present tenant of No. 10 Downing Street. All this made me wonder if somewhere there a was monument to people like me - draft dodgers and unconscientious slackers.

After a couple of hours in Tavistock Square and couple more in the flat we headed back to the bus stop with the kids accompanied by Mary and her husband Phelem. He is an Irish Professor of Maths and Finance who manages to be intelligent, charming and warm hearted. A rare combination in an academic. Normally they barely manage the first. We stopped off at a pub with outside tables in Lamb’s Conduit Street, close to Coram’s Fields where Hogarth and Captain Coram set up their foundlings hospital in the 18th century. Coram was appalled by fact that thousands of children were abandoned on the streets of London and nobody seemed to care. It is easy to forget how barbaric England was in recent historical times. The practice of having to bribe the hangman to ensure a quick death only stopped in the mid 19th century. Before that if you did not show him the money he ensured a lingering demise to please the notoriously blood thirsty crowd at Tyburn. Bit like Jeddah. Only rainier.

Next to the pub an Italian restaurant with a terrace on to the street was doing a roaring trade. Laughing kids in their Sunday best were playing on the pavement, while grown ups tucked into plates of steaming pasta and drank wine. If I were to start a religion and write my Holy Book this would be the description of Paradise. It would always be dusk, the wine would never stop flowing, no one would get aggressively drunk and the kids would never get bored. We would just laugh for eternity

Alice suggested that we try to get a table and as I started to launch into the stock parental speech which goes:

“ Come on. Be happy that you have had a lovely day and don’t be greedy…”

I then remembered that this was exactly the kind of thing I would have suggested aged 9. The difference being that I can afford it, but my mum and dad couldn’t. She trying to carry on the fun and I moaned. Are all middle aged men like this?

Monday dawned in glorious sunshine but Emily had been up all night with a bad cough. We decided to keep her off school. She spent most of the day on the sofa eating grapes and watching Spirited Away, a full length Japanese fantasy animation about a girl who slips into the spirit world and has to save her parents after they have been turned into pigs. All of this is the fault of the adults. The film revolves around the little girl’s fortitude and intelligence as compared the self seeking arrogance of adults. Some kids would see the film as a documentary. Emily has seen it about 10 times including once in Japanese. The father is a well intentioned know-it-all who eats too much. Emily already knows that art imitates life.

She stirred from the sofa to watch a blackbird that has nested in the loquat tree in our front garden and we left some bread out for it. The tree was planted 25 years ago by a previous owner, a Greek Cypriot woman who brought back a cutting from her village as a memory of home. I am from Sheffield in the North of England. What piece of my culture should I leave the next owners? A coal mine in the back garden? A drop hammer forge in the loft? Maybe open a fish and chip shop in the lounge?

Heather came home from work early and I packed for a business trip to Northern Ireland. If you are a Protestant I was speaking at a marketing meeting in Londonderry if you’re a Catholic I spoke at a marketing meeting in Derry. I am not a very good flyer. It just doesn’t feel natural to be up in the air. I am always happy to be coming in to land even if it is bucking over the lochs of Western Ireland. We are getting closer to my natural habitat – a strip of tarmac – and that feels good.

The arrivals hall was tiny and dominated by the city crest of Derry/Londonderry – a laughing skeleton sitting on a yellow cushion, church in the background, St.George's Cross at the top. It wouldn’t have been out of place on the cover of a death metal album but I am sure it has some heraldic significance. The hotel was very pleasant but the restaurant shut at 9.00. I hope they don’t get many Spanish visitors. They would think the place was empty at that time because it had just opened. . I ended at a place across the road with bouncers on the door up - a 12 oz. rump steak, salad half a bottle of house red and then to bed.

The meeting went very well and I spent the afternoon catching up on my e-mails and then wandered out to look at the historic city walls. I finally settled down for a pint of Guinness in a pub opposite a retail outlet called The Holy Shop – Religious Objects and Fancy Goods. Very useful. You can pick up a yo-yo with your crucifix. The pub was friendly and snug. Dark wood and Irish Republican artefacts on the walls which is not surprising for a pub the edge of the Bogside - the legendary neighbourhood that resisted the British in Ireland for decades. During the early 70s it was run by the IRA and British soldiers did not set foot in its streets. Then my eyes drifted to the flags on the ceiling. It was all a little odd. The old East German flag next to the Stars and Stripes, both rubbing shoulders with the flags of Cuba and the old Soviet Union. Added to that an Orange Lodge sash was hung up next to the optics. All very strange. Then my attention was drawn to a pig’s head and sides of bacon hanging at the end of the bar. Except they were plastic. Then it struck me. I wasn’t in an Irish pub at all. I was in an Irish theme pub in Ireland. Artefacts provided by the brewer’s Comms and Marketing department. Surreal.

So a good few days.

Across the world one corrupt septuagenarian announced that he was now going to kill another corrupt septuagenarian. If Arafat does get a missile through the window killing him and anyone who happens to be near the building at the time, Blair will ask us to see this as an opportunity for peace.

The Iraq War continues in bloody chaos. You get the impression that it is being run like the personal campaigns waged by medieval princes. On cue the Government has announced that they are talking to our coalition allies, to see if more troops are needed to fill the gap left by the Spanish. Does anyone think that we are consulting the Ukrainians? Let’s be serious. This is about receiving instructions from the White House.

The right wing columnist Max Hastings, who is usually gung ho for anything involving troops, weapons kit and giving the fuzzy wuzzies a good thrashing, has announced his misgivings about the war. This is a bit like Jesse Helms announcing that Positive Action has its good points and Teddy Kennedy is a really great guy. Hastings compared Blair to the pillion rider on a super charged Ducati weaving in an out of the traffic at high speed, driven by Bush. Is the passenger terrified or exhilarated? A nice metaphor, but inaccurate in one respect. Bush can walk away from the forthcoming crash unscathed, whilst Blair will be wrapped around a tree.

Being away is fine for a while providing you are in Derry not Baghdad and I am most definitely looking forward to being home not away.

Posted 5:59 PM by Paul
Military Re-branding

It wasn’t an invasion after all. It was a re-branding exercise. All week, spokesmen and politicians on both sides of the Atlantic have been talking about somewhere called The New Iraq. A bit like New Persil. I can’t find this new Iraq anywhere on the map. My atlas must be out of date. All I can find is somewhere called Iraq, named some time in the 8th century as, the land between the rivers.

Then I discovered that The New Iraq had a New Flag. Sky blue and bits of yellow and therefore reminiscent of Argentina, but I doubt if they will ever win the World Cup. Clearly, the launch of the flag was not a triumph of Marketing. Most of us only became aware of its existence when Iraqis (clearly Old Iraqis) burnt it live on BBC.

The political language is also definitely straying into the lexicon of PR. Commanders are still “working on the modalities for peace”. Bush said “most of Falluja is now returning to normal” whilst simultaneously TV channels across the globe showed pictures of the place in flames. Which I suppose passes for normality in The New Iraq. Blair helped the surreal discourse by claiming in parliament - bold as brass, “I think you will find it is not the Americans who are killing civilians” That’s it. I am going to stop believing The Washington Post. This rag claimed that American soldiers had in fact shot civilians at check points. Clearly the news room is run by Baath Party regime remnants.

If this was not so serious it would be hilarious. A bit like Monty Python with helicopter guns ships.

Posted 5:56 PM by Paul
Blame Pharaoh Not the Egyptians

Alice was in full flow at bed time.

“I don’t like the story of Abraham. If someone asked me to kill my child to show that I loved them I would say no. It’s like if Megan (close friend) asked me to punch someone or else she wouldn’t be my friend anymore I would say ‘well I don’t want to be you friend.’ I mean Abraham nearly killed that toddler.”

I agreed. Alice continued.

“And the lamb thing...” I asked for clarification “ Y’know where the Israelites killed a lamb and marked their doors so the Angel of Death would not visit them at Passover. I don’t agree with that either. I am sure that some of the Egyptians were nice to the Israelites and didn’t agree with slavery at all. Why should God kill them”

In a world full of madness and distortion she had uttered the truth. Blame Pharaoh not the Egyptians

Posted 5:55 PM by Paul
The Crunch Point

He’s at it again. The Prime Minister that is. “Britain has reached a crunch point on immigration.” For once he is right. I can’t get anyone to fit a new bathroom. Can someone please open the flood gates to Eastern European builders?

Posted 9:00 AM by Paul
Saddam the Celebrity Gardener

The justification for the war become more obscure by the day. Bush has now pointed out that they have evidence of storage of fertilisers in Iraq which could be used in bombs. Great! Saddam was within 45 minutes of launching a garden make -over show.

Posted 2:15 AM by Paul
Starstruck

He was simpering. I definitely saw him simpering. Bush called said Tony was "what we back in Crawford we call a stand up kind of guy" A nation reached for the barf bag. Blair's lack of dignity and willingness to be publicly humilated (he doesn't see it like this obviously) confuses millions of British pople. We love America but that doesn't mean that we want to have their babies.

When I was in New York this summer Steve Corrigan and Neil Kaplan described Blair as "star struck" and said. " They have suckered him in. He will get medals and speeches but no real concessions." Everthing these two educated and hard nosed Yankees has been shown to be true. So why does Blair do it?

I think Blair is bored by trying to mend the railways and make the NHS work. Domestic policy is boring. He sees himself as a man of destiny and you can't be a statesman if you don't have a world stage to strut on. The Bush White House provides that by proxy. Blair has so boxed himself in with his cod-Churchillian rhetoric that he has nowhere else to go. He has no room to manouevre. He dreams of himself as the man who guided Europe back to a reproachment with the USA and away from the post war Social / Christian Democratic settlement. He sees the American Way as the model. Perhaps as a kid in boarding at a grim public school Blair dreamed of living in God's Own Country

Chirac, Shroeder and now Manzanares stay close to the original conception of the EU as a counter weight to the USA. In reality this role is now more important because the other reason for the EU, a block to the Soviet Union, is now defunct.

And now Blair says that he wants a new UN resoltuion to give the organisation a bigger role in the "New Iraq". Apparently it was always going to be like this. Planned from the start by the Great Archiects of the New World Order. This scam would make me laugh if it wasn't so serious. Last year the UN was condemned as an "irrelevance" for not supporting the war. Now they want them in. It's very simple. Bush needs someone else to pick up the bills and do the dying in the run up to an election.

Posted 12:41 AM by Paul
I Had a Dream

I have just woken up and need to get this down.

Last night I had a wonderful dream. Bush had just won the Presidential election. A re-run of 2000 with the exception that he had lost the popular vote by two million. The USA is in uproar.

Blinking in the light of flash guns a tanned and handsome Bill Clinton and his new deputy John Kerry announce that this injustice cannot stand. The Republicans are making a mockery of the Consititution. They tell the gathered journalists that they are setting up a US Government in exile in Puerto Rico. Hollywood anyone?

Posted 2:24 AM by Paul
Labour Brand is Devalued

It has just been announced that Labour Party membership is falling rapidly. Apparently all those people who resigned will receive a letter from The Great Leader. As if a pleading missive from Tony will make any difference.

Labour is in deep trouble because it has drifted away from its core brand values. Social solidarity and hope for the future have been replaced by the simplistic mantra - Trust Tony He knows Best.

Follow the Leader is not a credible call to action for educated self-sufficient adults in a consumer society. The product we once trusted but felt was in need of some refinement , has changed beyond all re-cognition. As a result we are voting with our wallets.

There is also literally no point at all being a member of the Labour Party. Members have no say in policy or tactics and are simply called upon to endorse the strategic vision of the CEO, a middle aged change manager who lectures shareholders in exasperated tones as if they were naughty school children. Shareholders in Disney or Eurotunnel have far more access to democracy than Labour Party members. Any benefits of supporting Labour can be achieved without the financial or emotional burden of being a member. At election time we can choose the product that best suits our beliefs and needs. A hard working local Labour councillor for the Town Hall - but a Lib Dem for Parliament.

The Labour Party now needs to change its senior management team and CEO with a big thank you for the glory days of 97-99 when they delighted consumers and shareholders alike . But that was then, and this is now. If Labour fails to wield the knife, share values will plummet and millions of consumers will shop elsewhere.

Posted 3:59 AM by Paul
What is it Good For?

The newspapers and TV are full of images of war. American contractors burnt alive by joyful Sunni rebels. Bloodied Iraqi children, lives cut short by US Hellfire missiles. Blindfolded Japanese hostages swords held at their throats, begging for mercy. The captors have threatened to burn them alive if the Japanese Government does not pull out in the next three days. For the first time in my life I have been part of a protest movement where our worst fears were proved wrong because we were not pessimistic enough. Normally it never turns out as bad as you expected.

The BBC has been running a series of programmes looking back on Iraq one year later. Thanks to the wonders of satellite technology a Baghdad professor took part in a radio phone-in. He had been tortured and imprisoned under Saddam and was delighted when the Americans rode into Baghdad and overthrew the dictator. It was he said, " a joyful moment". One year later and he feels very differently.

There is still no regular electricity or clean drinking water. Buildings wrecked by US and UK bombing are still derelict. Kidnap and murder are common place. It is not safe to go out at night. He pointed out that the Baath party dictatorship had managed to install most utilities and restore public order just 4 months after the end of the 1991 Gulf War. But that is the way with effective dictatorships. They make the trains run on time. It's a common misconception that they are the work of one diabolical man and his henchmen. In fact dictatorships are maintained by a wider network - not only of the service class which benefits directly from the regime , but of ordinary people who acquiesce, glad to see an end to anarchy. Give the average man or woman in the street a choice between total insecurity and ruthless oppression and they will usually choose the latter.

So a year after the fall of Baghdad the Forces of Democracy have managed to make many Iraqis nostalgic for the brutal regime of Saddam Hussein. Quite an achievement

As the chaos increases pundits are now shopping around for historical analogies to help explain how we had got in this mess and point to some kind resolution. The V word is back and Teddy Kennedy has said out loud that Iraq is Bush's Vietnam. It could even be worse.

The Viet Cong had no plans or desire to attack kill the civilian population of the US and her allies.

The Viet Cong could not drawn on the support of millions of co-religionists who are not only prepared but eager to die for their cause.

The US actually suffered fewer casualties in the first year of the Vietnam War than that first year of the Iraq war.

History never repeats itself exactly but for me the closest paralel if Napoleons invasion of Russia. It all seem to be going so well at the start….

Not surprisingly the coalition is starting to crack under the strain of the killings and the chaos. It wasn't meant to be like this. The people back home want to bring their boys back. This is not because the Poles or the Japanese are cowards. It is because their populations thought that occupying a country with who they share neither religion nor common culture was a very bad idea in the first place. Their views were ignored by the political leaders and consequently they feel no sense of ownership of the resulting chaos.

" Don't look at me mate. This was your bloody idea"

All this shows the limitations of the kind of Big L Leadership personified by Blair and Bush. What we are re-discovering is what Washington knew by instinct. Leadership is a contract between the Leader and the Led. Or as Jefferson said we should "trust the surer wisdom of the many." Along the way the politicians have forgotten the nature of the relationship. We employ them. Not the other way around.

If anything comes out of this mess I hope it is an end to the self serving myth that all we need is inspirational leadership from a dynamic CEO with a strategic plan for change which he will push through regardless of opposition from the rest of us.

Iraq is now a charnel house.. What's the answer? Democracy might help. At home as well as abroad.

Posted 10:11 AM by Paul
This is Not About You

Ana Botella, wife to outgoing Spanish PM Jose Maria Aznar has written a book about their 8 years together in power. A mixture of political comment and Hello style revelations it had obviously been planned for some time. She posponed the launch for a couple of weeks following the train bombings which slaughtered nearly 200 of her constituents - Ana is a leading member of the Conservative Madrid Council. But now the retiring First Lady of Spain is back in full promotional swing flogging her wares at book signings and on TV.

She has added a hastily written, and I suspect ghosted, extra chapter. She has called it Chapter Zero. In it she says that the time after the bombings and the subsequent electoral defeat were their "bitterest hours". She goes on. " It was such a shame to think that 8 years of hard work had ended like this".

It must have been so hard for them both. Book deal. Fabulous wealth. Friends in high places. And alive. Nearly two hundred dead and a thousand injured and Ana is thinking about her husband's place in posterity. It brings to mind the murderers who plead in the dock that killing their girlfriend has ruined their life now that they will have to go to prison.

Ana. Tgis is not about you or Jose Maria. It is about Spain.

It makes me wonder if you have to be a vain phsycopath to succeed in politics. I hope not, but there are enough of them around to suggest that you do.